i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize