I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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