there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Do you have feelings for this penis?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dear god my vagina.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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