I think I died a long time ago.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
