Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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