I looked at my own cervix.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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