I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
