Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
