Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
