Me too!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
