i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you didnt know i had herpes?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
