do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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