make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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