i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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