By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
