that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
