doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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