I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
