Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
