Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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