i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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