are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i out mim tonsoeep
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