Just fell off a train. Bad.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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