You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
