I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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