you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
