i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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