My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
