I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
