Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
