It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
