my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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