i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
