to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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