I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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