I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
