Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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