RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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