Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
