Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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