Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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