My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
There are leaves in my underwear?
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