I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
