My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Found the puke drawer
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
