Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
