Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
