You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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