clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
