discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
