I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Its about making memories worth repressing
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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