I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize