she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
