youre lurking in front of me
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
