when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
