yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
