Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
