Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he thought i was a dude.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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