I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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