Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You work out of a Hotel?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
