A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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