Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
