Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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